Jubilation of the mysterious and venerable house of Lee

Well, the Russian judge is demonic and hates me, or is a plonker so I cannot be too upset.

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I'm just amazed you do laundry, I'd have thought all that clothing was dry- clean.

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Workout clothes do not need to be drycleaned.

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I never really got the point of dry-cleaning stuff, personally.

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It does not do to machine wash certain fabrics. They can be too delicate to wash without care. Other clothes lose their shape when machine washed, or might require a great deal more time ironing than I prefer to do. You would not machine wash a suit jacket, would you?

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No, you just don't spill stuff on it. Saves a lot of trouble. But seriously, I have two suits. Recently acquired suits. Everything else I could take or leave. Short-notice travel is easier that way.

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I find that sometimes I quite stain perfectly lovely tops with red wax crayon. Dry cleaning is more economic than replacing a ~~seventy~~ thirty - it was on sale dollar top.

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Or you could buy the $5 pack of white t-shirts from Walmart and chuck the shirt if you accidentally get red crayon on it.

Of course, I like your shirts a lot more than I care about mine, so maybe I should stop talking about laundry.

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Even if I were inclined to wear shirts that cost one dollar thirty cents each, which I am not, Walmart exploits their workers, so I would not shop there.

Those shirts are not flattering, even the versions designed for women. They are not in my personal style, and furthermore, no. But I do sometimes borrow a t-shirt for oil-painting or watercolour in, which is why I have the shirt with the fish monsters from Doug's fish monster game.

He may not know I have it.

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Pretty sure I'm biased, but y'know. There's not much that's not flattering on you. Just sayin'. Besides, if I spent $5 on a pack of shirts, I have more money for tacos.

... did you steal my 'I wuv hugz' t-shirt?

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You have ridiculous amounts of money and could purchase a moose! You do not need to be frugal with shirts.

I do not even know why you have that shirt.

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Right, but tacos. More of them. I would take tacos over shirts any day.

Because it's awesome. I notice you didn't answer the question. T-shirt thief!

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Is that why I have caught you so many times eating leftovers in the kitchen at 3am in pajama shorts?

This country has a long history of allowing people to not testify against themselves.

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Possibly. But mostly it's probably just that tacos are delicious and 3am is prime taco eating time. Shirts need not apply.

That's very, very true.

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That is only because your weasel texts you to eat them in the middle of the night.

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My weasel cares.

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I'd like to note that using euphemisms that the peanut gallery doesn't understand is strictly banned by the Geneva convention.

Also, I may have turned one of your shirts pink if you left one in the laundry the other day...I and laundry have a long and complex history, mostly involving socks.

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We'll have to apologize to the convention in Geneva, then.

It's all good. I can flaunt pink.

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Pink is the new black, I'm told.

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Wade has a friend named Weasel. It is not a euphemism for his penis.

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So what is the euphemism for his penis?

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Why wouldn't you eat leftovers at 3am?

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I never said I would not but I was unsure if Wade was aware of his habit of snacking shirtless in the small hours.

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I'm pretty sure I'm the only one around here who sleep eats, but I could be wrong. Did I tell you it stopped once I discovered protein shakes? Seriously, those things are dynamite.

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Are you the reason that the good blender at work is always smelling of banana?

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